No sick note. No substitute teacher. The teacher has left the building and left you all to your own devices.
The woolen hat. The cap. Shades on a cloudy day. You know what I mean?
Whatever nickname or knot in the tummy you know it by… every now and then, we all experience a feeling off day. Feeling down. Or let’s just label it then—feeling depressed.
Look closer—it almost always starts the same way: a disconnect, a trigger, then the slippery slide into darkness. And once you’re in that space, it’s like stepping into a room with an echo—every thought bouncing back at you in a mocking tone.
Please tell me you know what I’m talking about?
Sometimes, it’s just a dark afternoon. Other times, you really slip, and you find yourself stuck there for days.
Nothing flows. You feel off. You drop things. You stumble over your own feet. You struggle to make a simple cup of tea.
You somehow want to scream and cry at the same time. You keep looking for someone to blame for your misery, but there is no escape from blaming yourself.
My chest feels tight. My breathing is shallow. Even blinking takes effort (rolling my eyes at everyone and everything, though? Still doable.). I don’t want to speak to anyone, and I definitely don’t want to be in anyone’s company.
And Here’s the Turning Point…
This is the key to pivoting. Staying quiet for once—so you can actually listen.
Close your eyes. It helps. The mind starts to panic just a little less.
And then, thankfully, we have a secret weapon: the breath.
The miracle of slowing, deepening, and focusing on the breath triggers a shift, whether we want it to or not. It’s like an unconscious reset switch reminding us: Hey, you’re still in charge of your breath. Which means… maybe you’re still in charge of more than you think.
And Then Comes the Surrender.
Letting go of the breath… is letting go of everything.
And what a feeling that is—surrendering to a Force mightier than the muckiest muck you thought you’d never escape. A Force so powerful, so present, that you feel small for even thinking you had somehow disconnected from it.
Because here’s the truth: the Teacher never left.
I thought I had been abandoned. But in reality? I had turned away.
I tried home-schooling my way out of suffering… and earned myself an F. I logged out. I went offline. I stumbled into a struggle.
And all along, the Teacher was live on a Zoom call, waiting. Waiting for me to show up.
Next Time, I’ll Choose Differently.
I will turn INward and rest in the warm embrace of the Divine. I will disconnect from the outer world and surrender myself to the light.
I will show up and let go.
I will not waste one more day in suffering.
Because I am too precious to stay in the dark. I am needed in this world—to shine a light for others looking for safe shores.
May your day be filled with the bliss of knowing the Divine—and staying connected.
Still growing and still becoming. In this together.
Sandra